


Alive

by DeanRiordain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Hug, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 15:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8290058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRiordain/pseuds/DeanRiordain
Summary: A short ficlet about the Destiel hug in S12/E1. (So, spoilers to anyone who hasn't watched yet.)Basically what that might have looked like if Dean and Castiel would have admitted their feelings awhile back.Pretty fluffy, lot of Dean's internal thoughts.______________________Prompted based on the pic found and illustrated here: http://consulting-mutt.tumblr.com/post/151808698336/bonusWhich I found thanks to twitter user: @cocklesforlife
Mary's POV Thoughts/Etc (by Popular Demand: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8372482)
By the way, for anyone caught up in the Cas(s) debate, for me/my stories, I will always stand by "Cas" <3





	

**Author's Note:**

> For those who wanted Mary's POV, this is a little more than that, but here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8372482

There was very little that Dean could think of that could make his blood run colder than this. For starters, he was alive and that was a miracle within itself. His mom, Mary, was here, in the bunker, and she was freakin’ alive, too. It all seemed so surreal. When he’d sat on a bench in the park, trying to bridge a thirty some odd year gap in his mother’s memory, it felt like maybe he had died, and this was something mystical...something different from the world he normally lived in. Good things didn’t happen to the Winchesters.

The moment didn’t last long. When he and his mother had arrived back at the bunker, he no longer felt as though it could be a better version of heaven. His good intentions of surprising Castiel and Sam with the sudden change of events went out the window.

He wasn’t the bomb, the silence was. The quiet was unsettling from the moment he walked in. There was no computer open with Sam vowing to get Dean back, no matter what it took...there was no Cas trying to talk him down. All that remained in the bunker was an eerie silence that didn’t sit right. Dean Winchester never liked when he could hear the beat of his heart.  _ Tick, tick _ , just like the bomb he had been, ready to explode.

When Mary had pointed out the blood on the floor, his heart detonated. He knew immediately that something was wrong. The thought didn’t even cross his mind that maybe Sam and Cas had run into trouble and had dealt with it the only way they knew how. His skin prickled, feeling coldness pierce him like a knife, the feeling chillingly disgusting, and even more unsettling. He didn’t have to guess who’s blood it was- it would only make the tension cloud the room more.

He readied the gun in his hand, leaving his mother standing in the foyer of the bunker, confused. “Sammy?” he called, fearing the worst, “Cas?”

They’d been through enough difficulties for Dean to know that even in these situations, he had to appear calm...he had to breathe, and work through it- because, if he couldn’t do that, there wasn’t going to be anything he could do to help and he wasn’t going to let his fears destroy his family.

_ Had his mother returned with a price? Had Crowley turned on them? Had Lucifer come back to take Sam, and kill Castiel for being an inconvenient vessel? What if, after everything they had gone through with Amara, and Lucifer, Dean really didn’t get that last time to hold and embrace Castiel? To tell him how much he meant, how stupid it was to get involved with Lucifer...to reconfirm again and again by any means possible that the stubborn and beautiful angel mattered. _

_ And, Sam… _

_ Had his brother ended up paying for his mistakes again? Was he the price that came for what Amara felt Dean had truly needed in his life? _

Dean felt a sinking pit in his stomach as he followed the trail of blood to a banishment sigil. Whatever had happened had sent Castiel away, and left Sam alone to fight whatever it was on his own. The enemy was intelligent. _ Was it an angel? Did heaven repossess Cas and punish him on his latest error of serving humanity? Fuck. Fuck, fuck...what the hell happened here? _

As Dean’s nerves started to get worse, he noticed his mother staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer...an answer Dean didn’t have.

He unstrapped one of the hidden guns in the bunker, handing it to her, knowing fully well that she could handle herself. She was a Campbell, and a Winchester by marriage- he’d seen what she could do. And, he was here now. He wasn’t going to let anything else happen to another member of this family...not his mom, not Sam, and not Cas. “Take this,” he said, handing her the gun, “Stay here.”

“Dean,” he heard Mary whisper as he descended levels in the bunker, calling after Sam again.  _ Sorry, mom, I don’t know what happened. I’m going to find whoever did this. I’m going to break anyone if they’ve touched either of them. So just stay there, stay safe. _

He checked the bedrooms for any sign of struggle, or even more blood, and found no sign of his brother, or his angel. It looked like whatever fate became of the struggle had found itself outside of home. His mother had been alive for barely a few hours, and it already looked like they’d be making their first family hunt, because, like hell she was staying anywhere he couldn’t protect her.

He was halfway down the corridor when he heard the large door of the bunker creep open. Even as he tried to be quiet, he ran up the stairs- unsure of whether he’d come to face with friend or foe.

What he didn’t expect in a million years was to come back upstairs to Mary pointing a gun at his angel, who looked all-right, but shaken. Dean didn’t have the time to let relief sink in. “Woah, woah, woah, woah-” he warned, hands out to stop Mary. He tossed his own gun down on the table, before gently taking his mother’s arm and pushing her gun down, “It’s okay, it’s okay...he’s...my boyfriend.” The words just slipped as Dean was looking for an explanation. He felt his face heat up...well, they were true enough words. He wasn’t ashamed of it, not anymore.

Three hours, and his mother had nearly shot Cas. Not that Castiel could really have been hurt, now that Dean thought about it...not by this weapon at least...but still, they weren’t out of the woods yet. He needed to find out what had happened to Sam, but first...

Castiel and Dean locked eyes, and in that moment, relief poured out of both of them. Castiel was staring at him, bewildered that he was alive. He was supposed to be dead, after all. Dean could feel his own hands shaking, because, thank fucking God...or, Chuck...or...whatever...that Castiel was still alive. That only left Sam to worry about. “Hey...Cas…” was what he choked out.

He found himself rushed into Castiel’s arms, “Dean!?”

Dean felt his entire body relax, as it always did when he was holding Castiel, as his arms wrapped around him, pulling him to him, “Okay, all right,” he soothed his loved one, unable to hide a small smile that they’d been able to have this- that Dean had made it out, and that Castiel was  _ home _ , and they were both  _ alive _ , and they were both  _ here _ , in this moment, together.

“You’re alive!?” Castiel said, pushing back, staring at Dean in awe.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“What about the bomb...and the...the darkness...what happened?” Castiel’s voice quivered, concerned, and near to tears.

Dean reached out, unaware, as Sam accused them often, of their ‘audience’ in that moment. He cradled Castiel close to him, taking his hand and holding it for few precious seconds before placing it on his cheek, stepping just a little away to look at him, stunningly blue eyes full of concern, “Cas, calm down,” Dean soothed with a smile, holding Castiel’s hand against his cheek, “I’m here, I’m okay,” he said, kissing the palm of Castiel’s hand desperately.

Something, somewhere was wrong. And he was still worried, scared of what may have happened to Sam. But between them, Dean and Castiel, everything was alright. Castiel hadn’t been reclaimed by any entity out to destroy him, he was here, as Dean had asked him to be. And Dean wasn’t a bomb, he hadn’t needed to destroy Amara. 

He and Cas hadn’t had a ‘last’ of anything, they were getting to continue to create their own world around him, a world still full of ‘firsts’ to be had, and things that needed to be said again, and again. He had an angel that he would need to show the depths of his own worth, an angel that he needed to love endlessly...and for that, for his life, and for everything ahead of them, in this moment, he was grateful.

“I’m alive,” he said, pressing his lips to Castiel’s frantically, reassuringly. He couldn't stop after the first time, kissing Cas again and again, memorizing taste this time, and the way it felt to be so close to each other that they were one. He'd never let go.  _ I’m with you, and I’m alive. _

**Author's Note:**

> And yes, Dean is worried about Sam. He's gonna get to that after the relief smooches. <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Mother Mary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8372482) by [DeanRiordain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRiordain/pseuds/DeanRiordain)




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